Spring has sprung :)

Spring seems to have arrived early in Tours. This past week I saw the sun more than I have since September when I arrived, and with temperatures in the mid to upper 50s, I couldn't help but spend as much time outside as possible. Until this past week, I don't think I realized how much of an effect a constant gray overcast sky and rain was having on my well-being. I knew it was annoying, but with the drastic change in mood I realized how much of a bother the depressing weather had been. This week my spirits were lifted and I was feeling more energized. My friends felt the reinvigorating power of spring as well, and I noticed people I crossed in the streets seemed to be smiling more. As it's barely mid-February I'm realistic to think it won't last, but I can always hope!

This week was busy as usual. My friends and I went to the cinema to see Black Swan, which was an amazing film, in particular due to the director's work, the cinematography, and Natalie Portman's talent. We also had a Monopoly night, playing with a special Tours edition (Park Place = Rue Nationale!). Wednesday, a gorgeous day, I took a friend out to lunch for his birthday and then enjoyed some drinks outside in Place Plume, which was packed. Every table was taken as everyone was taking advantage of the great weather. After meeting my new classes last week (one 3eme and one 4eme), on Friday I started working with groups of students. Both new classes were great... I kind of wish I'd had them earlier! And last night we had a "soirée méxicaine" complete with fajitas, guacamole, fresh salsa and tortilla chips, gazpacho (spanish soup) and of course tequila. Somehow we've gotten into having theme nights...maybe because they always turn out so well!

I've got one week of teaching and then two weeks vacation, part of which I'll spend in Bordeaux with Adeline at her house. After this vacation I only have 4 weeks until the arrival of my good friend Lynsey, and two weeks later, the end of my assistantship and the start of my European family vacation! It's still a bit off in the future, but I feel aware that the end is going to sneak up on me and I still have so much I want to do before leaving. I'm planning to take full advantage of every opportunity I encounter until then!

Hope and regret

The past week or so has been busy as ever! I've been spending most of my free time with friends, realizing how lucky I am to have been assigned to the same area as them as it was only chance that brought us together. I'm rearranging my schedule a bit and consequently I'm taking some new classes. I'm looking forward to working with new students and finding some new inspiration!

This week included the celebration of the Chinese New Year. Alex and Ryan prepared a delicious dinner consisting of a miso soup with veggies and noodles, stuffed dumplings covered in a tangy sauce, and a tapioca desert with mango and coconut. This past week I also spent a long afternoon with close friend, deep in conversation about love, marriage, teaching, and life. After our conversation, I further reflected on some our conversation that stuck with me. So, here are some random thoughts..

It's a common in our culture to desire a life without regrets. If we make choices truest to ourselves, we shouldn't regret much later on. People find pride in saying they don't have any regrets in life, that they wouldn't have changed a thing, because it means they're happy. But, I wonder how often people claim they "wouldn't change a thing" and really mean it. How many people say this only to keep up appearances of being content? How many people say it just because any other response would require more elaboration. If we're being honest with ourselves, I'm sure there's something we would change about our past; a decision we would or wouldn't have made, something we wish we'd have done differently. It's okay to admit this, and it's possible to do so without feeling regret. Regret is tied to a sense of discontentment or guilt, an emotional attachment to the past. Saying we would do something different given another chance is very different from regretting a choice we've made. 

My friend has much more life experience than I (yes, not only is she older, but she's lived, if you know what I mean). I attentively listened to some of her advice, insights, and things she may have done differently a second time around if she had the chance.  I've come across many people willing to offer advice and who are open to sharing their personal experiences and troubles, yet I often feel they are holding something back. I sense that these people, who often use comforting or popular clichés, aren't being entirely open. After awhile, many clichés lose any significance, becoming words we regurgitate from memory without believing in them. During our conversation my friend was honest and open, and although there many things she would have done differently in life, she shared her advice without emoting a hint of regret or dissatisfaction. It was refreshing to hear some worldly insight that didn't seem to be taken from a romantic comedy. (And no, a practical or realistic outlook on life isn't necessarily pessimistic.)

We discussed an idea of a 'paradox of hope', the idea that we can have too little or too much hope, both of which are unhealthy to an individual. Idealists have too much hope, and pessimists have none. It's necessary to have hope in life, somethings to look forward to and to maintain a positive outlook on life. Without hope or faith we would be self-doubting, unambitious, and passive. Without hope, we wouldn't have the courage to overcome challenges or confront our fears. We would be uninspired. But, I've always connected with the expression "hope for the best and expect the worst" because it can be dangerous to have too much hope. Always hoping for something, waiting in expectation, can lead us to disappointment. It's dangerous when expectations are set too high, whether you place them on yourself or on others. Expect too much, and you set yourself up for failure. In expecting something, we can also become frozen in our own lives, waiting for our deepest desires to come true while forgetting to act. We end up waiting on the sidelines daydreaming. We become the kid in the outfield picking dandelions during the game. We cannot forget that we are the ones who put our lives in motion: we have the power to make things happen. With a healthy dose of hope, we can achieve wonderful things. But the ability to live in the moment, not always hoping for something in the future, can allow us greater peace of mind and the opportunity to be pleasantly surprised by life once in a while.